sucks.

right this moment, right now... in fact, for the past 10 minutes or so, life sucks. totally. my whole day of happiness and enjoyment with the dancers, then my dad and sis, then yishuang online, just vanished into thin air. why? well, only a few people other than i would know why. i feel down right rotten right now. even brian's soapbox didn't cheer me up. even the prospect of my dad buying me the queen live at wembley stadium dvd didn't cheer me up. doesn't cheer me up. i want to go to some corner and die there. i shouldn't be so affected in the first place. i hope no one sees this. i hope no one sees this till a few days later when i've squashed this post to the bottom of the page with many other happier posts about school and the brian may craze and accounts of bickering with my sister.

okay, at least i feel better after i typed those out. who cares about whatever others do anyway. ishall make my own decisions, and i do whatever makes me happy. i do whatever i feel is rightful to be done, being in my shoes. BAD, BAD MEMORIES. i'm living in a nightmare. well, i'm learning to stand strong, stand firm. i won't lean on anyone for support anymore. i can't afford to. once again, i hope no one sees this at all, if not it's time i create another space to vent without worrying about things i say creating curiosity for other people. blearughh.